We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
