It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
