Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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