you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
