As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
