I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
