im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
