oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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