i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I believe in your delicious
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
