dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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