have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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