At least make sure they are 18
Why
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
