I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize