We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
