I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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