just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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