how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm getting married
To pizza
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
