Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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