Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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