I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We need a shit load of segways right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
