Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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