erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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