Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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