I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
