the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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