just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
