i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
