can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
