Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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