I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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