are you so shy because you have an std?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
