I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i dont even know how to be here
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
