also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
