sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
