I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i will never coherently bang her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
