sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
