His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
