Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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