I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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