Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's the barista slut.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They have beer where we have blood.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
