Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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