We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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