I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
