I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
