why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
