margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
