Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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