so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize