She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
