We won't sleep together?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize