we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
