Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
