It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
