yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
