Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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