Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
