hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
