i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
