when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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