I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
