Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and she was petting her beer can
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
