i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
