i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
