How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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