i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
